Mandi could you...

"Mandi.  Honey...can you put your hand down my pants and tell me if I sharted."

I couldn't breathe I was laughing so hard at this particular request.

Cindy's Car

"I've been sitting in Cindy's car and I smell like Vagina now."
-Cindy is Craig's exwife who has come out as a Lesbian.  He calls Cindy and angie "the Lesbians"  Which sounds like he must hate her but he adores them both...weird...we have a weird family.  3 mums and Craig

Harper Whistles

My neice Harper comes up to Craig and proudly pronouces that she can whistle...by whistling.
Craig says..."Wow Harper that is great...You whistle very well...guess what?  I can whistle too but from somewhere else..."
He proceeds to fart and grins like a kid who has just performed the best trick ever.
Uncle of the Year

Wookie Nuts

Craig: Why isn't Wookie hopping around?

Mandi:  Not sure

Craig:  I know.  I's because he is too tired from hopping around with those Giant Balls of his.  Christ if humans had ones as large as his we would be completely off balance running...we would have to have nut bras just to keep them contained. 

Emma give me Huggleies

Craig on seeing Emma in the morning: "Emma Come Give me Huggleies!...No don't lift me up!  Just squeeze me."
Emma:  "I can't just squeeze you. You are too bony."
Craig: "No stop now you are squeezing me too hard you might give me a hemorrhoid or something."

Mushrooms in the Garden

Craig notices a bunch of mushrooms growing on the haybale garden.  They were not planted there and we have no idea what they are.  "Its okay we will chop them up and feed them to the children and just see what happens"...."Maybe they are Magic Mushrooms...Have you ever had one?  I always wanted to try one."

I Love you Mandi Lynn

Craig sitting on the couch grabs me as I walk past and wraps his arms around me.
"I Love You Mandi Lynn!  I want to squeeze you like a hamster until your eyes bug out"
I kiss him on the forehead